‘Unfair’ comparison with IS
By Paul Pot, Human Rights Correspondent
Saudi Arabia has hit back angrily at criticism levelled at its human rights record following the selection of the Kingdom to head the United Nations Human Rights Panel.
“Our record on human rights is right up there with the best of them,” declared Saudi Ambassador, His Excellency Sheik Mahmoneymakah, when contacted by Dog In The Street last night. “And as for all the negative comparisons with Islamic State, that is totally unfair.”
The Ambassador went on to outline what he described as Saudi Arabia’s “outstanding” record on human rights.
“We have beheaded over a hundred people this year alone. On top of that, we have flogged countless others. Our use of torture is second to none. And if all the limbs we have amputated this year were laid end to end, they would reach all the way to the UN headquarters in New York and back again.”
Perhaps His Excellency didn’t quite understand-?
“And, of course, we mustn’t forget the hundreds of children killed by our air strikes in Yemen. Although, going by what you read in the western press, you would hardly think it had happened at all.”
But-
“No no, it’s all about Islamic State, isn’t it? That’s all you westerners are interested in. IS this, IS that, IS the other. I don’t mind telling you, we’re fed up to the back teeth with IS. They’re on the scene a wet weekend and already they’re hogging all the limelight. Honestly, they think they’re all that and a bottle of coke.”
Wha-?
“Well, let’s see what they have to say about this: Saudi Arabia is not just going to behead its next victim, we’re going to crucify him, too!”
I think I’m going to vom-
“So off you go now and tell your precious IS: when it comes to human rights, they’re only trotting after Saudi Arabia!”
Sorry about the mess.
Dog in the Street 