‘If we were a bank in trouble, the feckers would be shovelling money into us’
By Christian Barnyard, Health Correspondent
In a surprise move designed to improve its financial position, Beaumont Hospital today announced that it is to become known as the Bank of Beaumont with immediate effect.
Speaking to Dog In The Street this morning, Beaumont spokesman Joe Trolley said, “We’ve been racking our brains over the past few months for ways to get more money out of the Government. Then one of the lads said, ‘If we were a bank in trouble, the feckers would be shovelling money into us’. You could say the penny dropped right then.”
So Beaumont Hospital will pretend to be a bank?
“Why not? Anglo Irish did it for years before anyone noticed.”
But the Government won’t fall for that, will they?
“They fell for all the crap the bankers fed them when the banks needed a bailout. There’s no sign they’ve learned any lessons from it.”
Dog in the Street 